November 26, 2012
Dateline, Merritt Island, FL
Almost every poem I write has narrative. I am not much for elegant turns of descriptive phrase that tell no tale. I *like* a good story, even in the shortest of poems, so it did not disturb me when my newest poem seemed to want to tell one. The problem was that the tale seemed to have too many trappings of narrative fiction: complete sentences, fully described characters and setting, a plot that leaves no room for guessing. I fought with this poem for a month, returning to it several times each week, adding to it, watching it grow and grow and never tell all I wanted it to tell. Now the inevitable has happened. The story has killed the poem and I have started over with the clear understanding that this tale has chosen its own form and given me, the poet, a firm shove-off. So far, so good.
November 24, 2012
Dateline, Merritt Island, FL
There have been a few changes in the Mesler/Myrick household since last I wrote, one major one that I want to share. Sammy SuperDog did not settle in well enough to become a permanent addition to our household. He was frankly bigger and younger than any dog we had envisioned getting before Sammy introduced himself to us. I am really not up to the challenges of any puppy, much less one as large and strong as Sammy. The deciding factor though was that he became more and more aggressive in the time he was with us. He got housebroken easily enough and was very cooperative and loving with Mike and me. But less than a week after he came to us, he started growling at people, baring his teeth even at children, and he attacked a small dog and attempted to attack a second when we were taking him to the car to return him to the shelter, having realized I am just not physically strong enough to have a dog that might attack someone.
In other news, Thanksgiving has been very nice though a tad quieter than I might have liked. I really missed inviting people over and cooking. Maybe some year soon that will be possible. I also really missed my daughter, but I always miss her so that is not unique to Thanksgiving.
I wanted to mention here that I saw a very well written film yesterday, Flight, written by John Gatins and starring Denzel Washington. From my perspective there was only one flaw in the screenplay and that was a monologue at the end that seemed like a trite add-on meant to appease the AA is the only answer crowd. I am not gonna argue the validity of AA; it is a great program for many, many people. But the monologue was out of place and gratuitous. Otherwise, this is excellent screen writing. You will also not want to miss academy award caliber performances from Washington and John Goodman, who never ceases to please.
November 8,2O12
Dateline, Merritt Island, FL
I have spent not as much time writing this week as I would like but, as Sammy SuperDog settles into our routine and we into his, I get more and more actual work done. I have edited one old meditation that really needed a makeover and started a new one. The poem is still partway done. I like where where it started, not so fond of where it has led me. Have not started sermon for the 18th yet though I do know what its topic will be and THAT is half the battle. I keep thinking that there will come a calm period of months with few disruptions to routine and that I will become amazingly productive. ITMT, I get done what can be done in between doc appointments, trips out of town, family crises and whatever else pops up when I have planned for something else.
November 5, 2O12
Dateline, Merritt Island, FL
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| Sammy |
Meet the new addition to Casa de Mike y Steph! Este es Sammy! Sammy is a white and black lab mix we are adopting from the Brevard County animal shelter. Sammy is about a year and a half old. He has had all his shots and all but has still to be fixed. That will happen 3 weeks from today. We interviewed several dogs and Sammy was the one who chose us so here he is! He loves to play ball is crazy about pigs' ears and kinda likes car rides now that he realizes they do not all lead to doggy prison.
I have been wanting a dog for a while. This writer's life can be pretty isolating. Mike was less sure. Which of course explains why Sammy clearly prefers Mike to me. Of course, it might also have something to do with the fact my partner is a much easier touch than I. I don't mind he prefers Mike. It's me he is going to spend most of the hours of his life with so I will be his main source of food and entertainment. I will be the one providing him with much needed doggy structure. It's good for both Sammy and the man to have a playmate who makes few demands of them.
I imagine there will eventually be poems and maybe even fiction about Sammy SuperDog. For now, I will content myself with finishing the poem begun last week and starting the next sermon I need to deliver.
October 26, 2O12
Dateline, Merritt Island, FL
I have been back home since Monday night late. The trip to Ohio was fun and productive. I spent lots of time with my daughter, though there is never enough, and saw several good friends. I had meetings with folks who helped me plan a path into my vocational future, a path that allows me to do things at my own pace and alleviates some of my anxiety about graduate education and the long, long process toward ordination.
Wednesday, I learned I am accepted in Starr King's program on UU studies, starting in January. I will complete that certificate program first before deciding what part of my seminary education to tackle next. The long range goal may or may not be an MDiv and fellowshipped ministry. We will see how I see that prospect after a year or two working on the cert program.
This weekend needs to include many hours writing. I have to preach next week and would like to wrap a couple of other unfinished projects. May the force be with me!
October 15, 2012
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
The weekend was full. A trip to Vero Friday to meet with a minister there about the path ahead of me. Then on to Ft. Pierce for supper with an old friend of Mike's I am happy now to call my friend as well. The three of us ate at a fabu place on Seaway Drive. It is called Chuck's Seafood and I cannot say enough good things about it. I had the broiled seafood platter. Man, oh, man! Seriously, you've got to go.
Saturday was a work day during which I nailed down the sermon I was to deliver Sunday and edited a poem into submission. Had Cuban food that night with friends up in Titusville. The food was eh, but the good company more than made up for it.
Sunday was church. The sermon on creative process and prayer, which was well received and generated a lot of discussion, is posted on this blog. The afternoon included another trip to Titusville for the library's annual book sale. I came out book rich, which is always a good thing to be, IMO. On the way home, we drove by The StoneFire Gallery and Cafe, which looks to be a very cool place. I need to call and see what they have by way of poetry readings. Stonefire
Wednesday, I will be leaving for a few days in Ohio. I plan to do some work while there. Most of that will be information gathering on ordination process but there will be some small amount of writing, I think. Mostly, I will be spending time with my daughter and friends! Woohoo! The two days remaining before the trip will, of course, be jammed with last minute tasks I want to have done before I go and with getting together the items that need to go with me on the plane.
Speaking of which...I must now to work!
October 9, 2012
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
I am chasing my proverbial tale these days with way too many deadlines coming up too close together. Currently I am wrestling with sermon that will be delivered this Sunday. It really needs to let me finish with it so that I can begin work on a short story that needs to be performed later this month.
Am also preparing for a trip to Ohio in a week. I will get to celebrate my daughter's birthday and spend time with friends I have not seen in several months. I am looking forward to it.
If anyone has any perspective on how to tame the wild beast that arrives in the form of a sermon in process, I would love to hear from you.
October 1, 2012
Dateline Cocoa Beach, FL
I am here to report that I am a tad off course today. I am dealing with a couple of bureaucratic nightmares, one having to do with my daughter's education, the other having to do with my own. Coincidence? I think not! Anyway, I really need to be starting my sermon for October 11, which I may or may not be able to reuse for the 14th. So far though, I have not been able to slow my mind down enough to write. Heck, I have not even been able to keep my ass in the chair at the computer. Hoping this little blog entry turns the tide.
So the day's goals are to start the sermon on brain development and work on a new poem, assuming it is ready to be worked at all, make some changes in the sculpture garden in UUtopia in Second Life and meet with a client after doing the usual meditation group. There will also be a trip to the gym and an open mic tonight. Looking at that list, I think it is a good thing I have already dealt with many of the day's more mundane chores: Cuban roast in the crock pot, laundry done, bike prepped and ridden, dishes done.
In happy news, I officially joined my church in Cocoa, FL yesterday and last night my partner and I became, well, partners, in a more official (though not legal) way. I am a very happy woman who needs to get to work now.
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September 27, 2O12
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
I have completed two new poems since last I posted here, Insomnia and Not Really About The Apple, Eve's Story. Have also completed the Mabon ritual and new Sunrise Meditation posted to this blog. That is a lot of writing in 1O days. In addition, I am registered to start classes in January. Woohoo! Other than feeling generally overwhelmed by life, there is not much to report here and overwhelmed by life seems to be the human condition. Better than the alternatives though, huh?
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September 17. 2012
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
Last week, I eeked out a completed poem and beginnings for two more. I also wrote and delivered a sermon. It was a good week in terms of productivity and quality, if I do say so myself. Only problem, I started to feel very isolated spending so many hours at the keyboard. This week I will try a change of venue for some of the writing hours. I did so this morning and the result was positive.
What do some of the rest of you do? How do you avoid wanting to sob for lack of human contact when you work at home alone at what is necessarily solitary work?
This week, I need to write a meditation that has been promised for an event Sunday. May also need to put together an Equinox ritual for Saturday, though that decision remains in the air at this point. I will finish laying out the Lit Magazine this week and, maybe, start printing, though I do not really expect to get to that before next week. I would like to finish a poem as well.
You may wonder why I so often post my intentions for the week in this blog. It is because, as my own employer, I am pretty much accountable to no one but myself. That is, in a way, as a person should live her life but sometimes knowing someone else is watching, in this case you my reader, can be a real boon toward getting the job done! Thanks for being my long distance supervisor!
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September 9,2O12
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
Progress is progress, no matter how meager. That is what I am telling myself as I slog forward in the middle section of the novel. It's getting there and that is better than NOT getting there.
I have a sermon to write this week, a magazine to lay out, and song lyrics to complete. It will all get done because it has to get done, but, at the moment, it looks like a lot on my plate.
I will be delivering aforementioned sermon this Thursday night in UUtopia, the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Second Life. Please consider joining us inworld that night as I will be making a rather major announcement and discussing the process by which I made this decision.
Fibro/RA have been kicking my ass the last few days. I slept a huge chunk of two days away and now feel better than I have in a while. Yay for reprieves!
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September 6, 2O12
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
Yesterday I grappled with a poem that has been chasing me into corners for weeks. I finally wrestled the sucker into submission about 2O minutes before sharing it at a reading. Folks there seemed to like it and I hate it less all the time. It helps that I no longer feel browbeaten by my own work. The finished piece is called Monday's Child.
At that same reading, I shared for the first time in over a year my poem, Gloria, based on the mass. They enjoyed it as I have in the past. Oddly, I found it no longer speaks to me as it has before. Maybe it's because it was another of those poems that was real work. In fact, it still is real work because it is not an easy one to read well. It tells a story set inside the Mass. Part is in English, part in Latin, so one is constantly moving in and out of the plot and in and out of the language. That is, of course, what makes the poem interesting but, from the performer/poet, it requires a good deal of focus.
Southern Serenade has been edited once through and is now in the hands of the proofreader. He will return it to me early next week and I will begin the layout. I am very, very pleased with the work it contains, poems, stories, a memoir, and art. A nice collection. If you would like to pre-order a copy, send email to Diva Press.
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August 30, 2012
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
This summer has been a full one which included a long visit from my daughter and a shorter one from her dad. I have been to Columbus, New York City and Tallahassee, south Georgia, Orlando, Deland and lots of points on the Atlantic. It has been fun. In the midst of it all, I have dealt with a family crisis and some family joys while managing somehow to make minimal progress in the novel, write and deliver several sermons, write a handful of poems, a couple of which do not suck, and begin the editing process for Southern Serenade, which will go to press in mid-September and be released by end of month. Meanwhile I have increased the time committed to leading meditations and doing pastoral counseling. And somewhere along the way, I made a couple of big decisions about what I want for myself and my family over the long term.
Whew! When I look at all I have accomplished in the last two months listed like that, I realize I have not blown the summer after all, which is what I have been accusing myself of for weeks. It seemed that if I was not meeting all expected benchmarks on schedule, like keeping this blog up to date, completing a new poem each week, getting to the gym four days a week, and cooking supper at home at least five times a week, then the summer was a wash. Calculating all those misses made me feel like a slacker, but looking at what I have accomplished in recent weeks reminds me that it really has been a very productive time.
I expect to finish a rough draft of The Ballad of Donny Granger, Book One by December. It is going well. The first section of the book is completely written; the end is mostly written and I know what the very end will be, so that is just a matter of taking dictation, sort of. It is the middle section, Donny's journey with Margaret, that still remains in large part unrevealed to me. It's coming along and I think, once Southern Serenade is put to bed, the rest of Donny's story will come out in a great gush during which I will ignore most everything else because I will be compelled by the power of the story to just type til it is done being told. That is how it works for me. Aren't I a very lucky author?
I expect also to start college again by January. This is a decision that has been very slow in coming. It has been on the back burner for 25 years or so having been revisited and tabled several times along the way, but I am ready now to seek ministerial ordination through the Unitarian Universalist Association. It will be a long and arduous process and, in the end, I could get a great big round NO! from the UUA, but I have been doing ministry now for some time, preaching regularly, writing and leading rituals, nontraditional pastoral counseling. I have become very involved in what I think will become an essential piece of much religious practice, online ministry and worship. Realizing that I am already doing the work and seeing as how the rest is credentialing, getting educated to do the work better, and networking, I decided recently to pursue this long time goal. I do not believe I will start seminary before September 2013, possibly later, but have begun the application for aspirancy process with the UUA and with my UU district, have discussed my intentions and desires with those closest to me, and have applied to take some classes in religion and philosophy through a state University, classes that did not seem necessary to a music and English major 30 years ago.
So, in a nutshell, that is what I did with my summer vacation. Hope yours was as fun and fulfilling!
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July 17, 2O12
Dateline Merritt Island, FL.
I can happily report that I get to stay home for at least a few weeks now. No, I don't mean I won't be leaving the house, though a day or two of that would not be the end of the world. I mean there are no more overnight out of town trips planned for a while. Yay!
I have had a great time in these previous weeks, traveling to Ohio and Washington and New York/New Jersey and the Gulf Coast of Florida. I've seen old friends and met some of my partner's old friends. I've seen family and a Broadway show. I have gotten to spend time with my lovely daughter who will be with me for about another month. I even got to have high tea with her at the Met Museum at a table with a lovely view of the park. Really, it's been grand!
But now I am ready to stay home. I have things to do, things that have been on hold for two months. Things like cooking and cleaning and biking and swimming and, yes, writing. So today I am back to my routine at long last and can look forward at least several weeks and see no major interruptions on the horizon. WhooHoo!
The plan for today is to get a start on a book review I want to write and post to this blog, start thinking about two sermons I will be giving in July, and to possibly approach a poem that has been percolating for some time. It is one I have taken stabs at previously and been dissatisfied with my work. Now may be the time; we shall see.
And now the work begins!
June 18, 2012
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
It has been more than a month since last I graced this page with an update. For that, I apologize, not because I feel anyone is owed an apology but because it is what one says when coming off a bender of sorts. That was the word my mother used to describe one of her bouts of overeating or anyone's episode of binge drinking. I have not been overeating or drinking; I have been reading. Oddly, I find that when I am reading, I am not writing and when I am writing, I am not reading. There have been very minor exceptions to that rule but mostly it's true that I cannot muster enough brain power to read and write concurrently. I think my periods of reading provide food for spirit and mind that eventually manifests itself as energy spilled out on the page. Today, I am back to writing. Yay! Yay because I can only go so long before not writing starts to feel like some sort of illness. A malaise comes over me and I begin to lose interest in most things. I also start to consider myself a slug of sorts. Thus, the apology.
I have also been traveling a great deal in the last 6 weeks. The big trip was to Ohio where I attended and participated in my daughter's Coming of Age, sort of a Unitarian Universalist Bat Mitzvah. This was held at First UU in Columbus, OH. It was a two-day event. On Saturday night, the young women coming of age, including my Su, presented their faith statements and some of them performed music. On Sunday, the young women ran the church service and each took a significant role. My daughter read the children's story, Oh, The Places You'll Go!
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| A slightly out of focus Su reads to children at 1UU, Columbus on June 3. |
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May 11, 2O12,
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
The question is when will I get hold of this time commitment thing? I have been writing every day, most days working on the novel, but I am not putting in enough time and not making the kind of progress I do when I put in more and consistent hours. My schedule seems always to be in flux. Wish I could say that is anyone's responsibility but mine, but alas, it is not. I have been in almost constant transition for four years, since my last major heart episode. There have been job changes, surgeries, the FM and RA diagnosis, all the associated doc appointments, therapies and lab appointments, etc, two minor moves and a cross country relocation, the end of a marriage, separation from my child, and the birth of a happy partnership.
I am, I hope, finally at a place where I am in complete control. Well as much control as anyone is ever actually in of anything. You know what I mean. Having this modicum of control means this, here and now, is my chance to do the work and do it well.
Other than the day to day chores of life, you know, laundry and such, I have two priorities: Writing and getting my body as healthy as it can be so that I can enjoy the things I do. With that second priority in mind, I have recently committed some time to activities other than writing. So these couple weeks are a bit drifty as I find my ground. At last though I am finding a schedule that works for biking and swimming. Around it I can see when writing needs to happen. The other stuff, the laundry and whatnot, will have to fall in as it can.
I have a couple questions for others of you who manage your own time, particularly those who work as self employed artists and writers. 1. Are you able to work toward more than a couple of goals at a time? 2. Does your home crumble to a disorganized pit when you are focused on your work? 3. Do you find that you need to leave home to work elsewhere in order to stay focused?
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May 4, 2012
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
The poem started a couple weeks ago, The Coppertone Effect, has been edited and made its debut Sunday evening at a reading in Second Life. I am very pleased with it and it was well received.
The middle section of the novel is giving me grief. I am feeling less sure of what I am writing there. It is also very slow going. I approach it every single day but don't always get very far. It's gonna need mouth to mouth I fear. What that means I am not sure or the cure would already have been applied. Will keep you posted.
The reading period for Southern Serenade has begun, which means submissions are no longer being accepted. I am selecting and editing the pieces that will be included in the magazine's first edition. I am pleased with the number of contributions received and the quality of the work. Yay!
I also started a nonliterary blog a few days ago, Taking Back The Lane. the focus is on bicycling and pedestrian-ism as every day transportation. Have a look see.
In other news, my pain has subsided some and I am getting a lot of exercise which is good because it helps to keep the pain at bay. If you know someone (besides me) who suffers from chronic pain, please be understanding. It is hard as hell to be productive and pleasant when you hurt. With me, you often get to choose between productivity and pleasantry. You are unlikely ever to get both when I am having a flareup.
In more horrifying news, I am expecting delivery today of a very fancy dress. My partner and I will be attending a wedding next weekend and I had nothing suitable to wear, having decided jeans and a t shirt weren't gonna suffice. So a dress has been ordered and I bought shoes. There may be a hat too as I am told ladies sometimes where hats to weddings. I draw the line at stockings though. NOT gonna happen.
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April 16, 2012
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
The visit with Su was far too short. We had fun though and got some things accomplished. Yay us!
I have been dealing with some chronic pain flareups of late and think I should write about it. Unfortunately, it is a topic that does not guide my pen. Maybe one day. In the meantime, the pain has interfered some with my work but not much.
Today a new poem has been born. It is called The Coppertone Effect. I am pretty pleased with it but it needs a great deal of work. It is one of those poems that will be better performed than silently read. I may post it here as a video file once it is more finished.
Tomorrow will be the day I begin serious work on the middle section of the novel. I look forward to it. Mostly.
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April 3, 2012
Susan Mesler-Evans, she of Spilling Ink, will be here in eight hours! I am sooooooo stoked. Have lots of fun things planned to do with my star columnist during her visit. Some of those plans have had to be adjusted though because I have apparently ruptured something or other in my knee, I forget what exactly because I was in a lot of pain when the doc was telling me. Oddly I can ride my bike with no pain at all but walking or standing can make me cry EXCEPT when I have taken a dose of the magic pills the doc prescribed. Yay Doc and Yay magic pills!
Having completed the first section of the novel, I have set it aside to work on TeenTalk.Com, a one-act play for The Graham School in Columbus, OH. The play has a deadline so it needs to be priority right now. It is coming along well, if I do say so myself. My characters have taken shape and found their punchlines at last.
If you are an author or visual artist of any sort, please consider submitting your work to Southern Serenade. Link to the call and guidelines is at the top of this blog. I look forward to receiving and reading dozens and dozens of submissions.
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March 30, 2012
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
I just finished the rough draft of the first section of The Ballads of Donny Granger, Part One. These last five chapters, the ones written in the last week or so, are among the hardest pieces I have ever written. I have taken to reading my day's work each night to my partner. These chapters have been hard to read out loud. They spelled out much of the trauma my main characters, Donny and Margaret, face. Hard as it has been to get here, the end of these rough chapters brings me to a place where my characters are finally safe and free. They can have some fun and set their own agendas. So, in fiction as in life, facing pain head-on leads to a place where joy can be discovered or created.
Now, I need to spend some time on the play I am commissioned to write. At this point, it could be called Four Teens In Search of a Punchline. It will get better.
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March 28, 2012
Dateline Lakeland, FL
A year ago now, I was on the way to Florida by train. It was the first time I had been here since 1978. It was a bittersweet homecoming. Leaving Florida 33 years earlier had not been my choice. It was a decision made by my parents when I was away at boarding school. When I left for school that year, I had no idea it would be more than 30 years before I would see my home or friends in Tampa again. A year ago I met my partner here in person for the first time. That made the trip one of the best I have ever had, but visiting Tampa where I had lived so long ago was odd. On that excursion into my old stomping grounds, I remembered much I had forgotten. Much of it was sad. I cried a little. Some of the memories though were dizzyingly happy. My life in Tampa was in a time before I knew many painful truths. It was a time when I still believed that EVERYthing is possible. In fact, it was the last such time.
If I had known a year ago what I know now (that it would lead to me living 1000 miles from my daughter), I am not sure I would have made the trip. But once I met my partner who already lived here and once I had returned to the place that really IS home no matter how long I was away from it, there was no turning back. When my girl decided she did not feel called to make this move, as I did, even then I knew I had to move forward. She and I each had to follow the heart voice that tells us what is best for us. So just as I left my parents' home earlier than most, my daughter made a choice that keeps her where she is most in her own and I really do understand that. I love her clear head and will support her always in making the choices that make her life work. I am happier now than I have been since 1976 and then I was only as happy as a teenager can be, which is to say I was not miserable. Now, I am profoundly happy, loved and in love, productive and free. I am glad I didn't know where last year's vacation was leading. Sometimes it works better when life just sneaks up on us.
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March 27, 2012
Dateline Lakeland, FL
Lots of good things happening with my work. I have almost completed the first section of the novel. I have also written about a third of the last section. I would like to complete the first part, the part before the journey, by this time next week. If I stick to the schedule that seems to work for me, that should be possible.
Two of my poems are up now at A Little Poetry. Have a look, please, to support my work and the publications that support my work.
Another is here, Progeny. This is the literary rag of the college I attended for undergraduate school.
I have been commissioned to write a one act play for the drama club at The Graham School in Columbus, OH. This is my daughter's school. I am thrilled to be doing this.
Thursday night, I will be preaching on reproductive rights. The sermon will be delivered in UUtopia, Second Life's Unitarian Universalist region. If you would like information about this event, drop me a line.
And now to work.
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March 22, 2O12
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
I am just now finding where this poem of mine appeared online several months ago. No idea the pic next to the poem is about, but nice to be published in my alma mater's lit rag again. Progeny
March 21, 2012
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
I know this is gonna sound a lot like the dog ate my homework, but somehow Blogspot ate my last three diary entries when I was attempting to save one as a draft. I cannot find them anywhere, so they are lost for good. Oh well...
The last couple weeks have been productive and happy ones. I have been mostly pain free, able to exercise, and have gotten a lot done on the novel. I have even written one new poem, an assignment for a poetry event I attended last night. I don't much like it - it's rhyming and cutesy - but it served its purpose and others did not seem to detest it as I do. I will post it on this blog later today.
The novel is coming along well. I have written what I think amounts to 14 chapters of a potential 35 or 40. I have written the beginning, a big chunk of the end and have begun the middle. An working timelne is helping keep things on track. I can see that I may be adding some to the book's center. This book is the first in a trilogy and I see the need to lay groundwork here for events that will follow in later books.
Please don't forget that Diva Press is now accepting submissions of art and writing for Southern Serenade. Further information can be found by searching for Southern Serenade in this site's tags.
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March 6, 2012
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
It has been a busy and exciting few days since last I wrote in this diary. Let me see if I can remember all the good stuff.
I will be performing at two Second Life Festivals this month, the StoryFest which will be this saturday, March 10 and the Poetry festival, which will be held on the last weekend of the month. I am working on a story I hope to have finished for the StoryFest and will surely have a few new pieces for the poetry fest. There is a blurb about the StoryFest on this blog's home page.
Speaking of new poems, I completed Freedom Road as Night Falls last week. I have not yet decided if I will publish now or save this one for the first edition of Southern Serenade.
I have also announced that submissions are now being accepted for Southern Serenade. More info about that can be found on this blog's home page.
I learned last night and this morning that two of my poems, On Meeting and Parting Not So Long Ago and My Mother's Red Shoes have been accepted for publication later this year. Yay! I will announce those on this blog when they are available for your attention.
In more personal news, I have postponed indefinitely a medical procedure I had planned to have this week. It seems I have other more pressing issues to address. Nothing life threatening, but enough to make my life more pleasant if adequately treated. So NOT havng surgery now is a definite plus.
Also, we celebrated my partner's birthday a few days ago. It was fun and I got to meet lots of his friends from as far back as junior high school. AND plans for my daughter's April visit are falling into place too. That's a big woohoo!
Today promises to be a productive day. And so it starts!
Feb. 29, 2012
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
It's the last Wednesday of the month so I'll be attending an open mic at Brick and Mortar art gallery in Cocoa Village. If you are in the area and want to hear some bodacious poetry performed by poets who dig the spotlight, then you oughta be there too.
The Kickstarter campaign is going well. Please visit this page to become a backer for my book, The Ballads of Donny Granger, Book One. Even $1 contributions are helpful and appreciated.
Yesterday, my partner returned to his work in the space program. This opportunity came up much sooner than anticipated and is both a blessing and a curse. I am adapting to having week days to myself. This may be very good for my work but not the most happily anticipated transition I have ever faced. The good news is I did several hours of work on the novel yesterday and I find I am able to resume a daily meditation schedule. So every weekday morning at 5:30 AM Second Life time (that is Pacific time for the uninitiated.) I am leading guided meditations inworld. If you have never experienced a guided meditation, they are different from traditional meditations in that they involve listening to spoken word and, in the case of meditations I run, music. I find guided meditations to be the ONLY way some of us, the ones whose brains never quit running a treadmill, can distract our brains from the usual business going on in them. the meditations I use in SL are ones I have written. Many can be found on this blog by searching meditation. Today's meditation is on body image work.
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Feb. 26, 2012
Dateline Casselberry, FL (Orlando suburb)
I have spent the weekend in the Orlando area because my partner is taking a class on covering airplane wings. I suspect its really something more techie than that, but that is really all my brain absorbed from what he has said about the class thus far. And that's really okay; I am pretty sure brains (meaning mine) have a limited storage capacity, sort of like the space below deck on an efficient sailing vessel. One has to be careful about what one keeps and what one jettisons overboard. Truly, I think the secret to my success as an artist and musician may lie in the fact I don't hang on to erroneous data. If it's not simple enough for me to understand, it will never be simple enough for me to use in art. Out it goes, leaving behind only a marker that says the information exists if ever I want to research it. Likewise for old grudges and sorrows. If they serve no purpose in current life or writing, out they go!
Yesterday was a productive one for me. I did a fair amount of writing, including the piece about Kickstarter and democracy on this blog's home page. The campaign is off and running. 28 days left to get your pledges in! Seriously, you can pledge as little as $1 to the campaign and consider yourself a patron of the arts. Now, doesn't that make you think you oughta be dressed better! Beyond the feeling of largess that comes with being a Kickstarter backer, there are rewards that come with pledging. The more you pledge, the more you will receive, so click on this link to become one of my backers!
Today I will meet for the first time in person one of my oldest friends. We met online many, many years ago, when we were pregnant with babies born the same month. Now, we live in close proximity and today is the day we will finally meet F2F. I am seriously stoked!
Then, it's homeward for Mike and me. I am pretty stoked about that too. The more time I spend in hotel rooms, the more I realize I like home better. No complaints at all about the Days Inn in Casselberry; just ready to be home again.
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Feb 20, 2012
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
Well, my foul temper passed but I am still appalled by legislation against reproductive rights being pushed through in several states. I am sure it will all be overturned at the federal level but that will take a while and it just should not be this way. I cannot believe that in 2012 we are still fighting for control of our own bodies. I have heard more than one mother of a teenage daughter mention it might be time to take her child and move to a civilized nation. I am not at all sure that is an over-reaction to what is basically a war on women.
As for my work-- I DID finally complete the video for the kickstarter campaign. I am all set to launch once my financial data is all checked and approved. They said that could take a few days. So I wait.
Did a bit of writing over the weekend, a poem and the start of a short story as well as a few hundred words on the novel. The poem is pretty awful. The short story has promise. The novel is coming along well. Overall, I am pleased.
A discussion last week with another writer about not wanting to write her own life story. I have been pondering that notion for some time. I am not sure anyone ever writes anything BUT his own life story. I know I do not. Not that every event in all of my works has happened to me, but the souls of my characters are intimately known to me, they come from somewhere deep down. Whenever I have had to throw away a character, it has been because they were not enough part of me. I really have no idea why anyone would even try to write someone else's voice. Sure, each character in each book has her own unique voice, but all of those voices are my own. Are we not all of more than one mind with more than one history?
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Feb 17, 2O12
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
I am in a foul, foul temper this morning. We can thank legislators in the states of Oklahoma and Virginia for that. Sheesh. Vaginal probes for women who ask for abortions. I say when each and every one of those guys who voted for THAT one is willing to have me administer a rectal exam, THEN we can talk.
Okay, now back to writing.
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Feb. 16, 2O12
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
Yesterday, I received by email the completed drawing of Donny Granger from Liz Beronich Sheets, illustrator. The drawing is amazing. I need now to complete the video for the Kickstarter campaign. Then the campaign will be launched. My fund raising goal will be $2OOO in 3O days. Among other things, I would like to engage the further services of Ms. Sheets in the completion of the novel. Would also like to engage one of the better editors I have worked with previously. So please watch this blog for announcements regarding The Ballads of Donny Granger, Book One kickstarter campaign. Your support will be greatly appreciated.
My Valentine's Day was perfect. I hope yours was too. Poem for my Valentine, The Time Before Time, posted on this blog.
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Feb. 14, 2O12 Valentine's Day
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
I have always loved Valentine's Day. Growing up, my family exchanged cards and gifts. (One memorable year, my dad broke his shoulder bringing home a box of art supplies for my present, falling down stairs in an ice storm.) There were parties at school. As I got older, I liked the romance attached to the day even when I was not in a romantic relationship. I appreciate the idea of one day a year when we are not just allowed but expected to be stupid romantic and openly in love with our lovers and the world as a whole.
Today is my first valentine's day away from my daughter. It's sad in a way, but it is also the way things are supposed to work. Children grow and make their own choices. Hopefully, if we have done well as parents in the years leading to these choices, they make healthy decisions. Our kids outgrow the relationships we had with them and the relationships take on new shape. I am still my daughter's mother and I will always love her above all others. Now, I see her as her own person utterly and completely complete without input from me. I am awed and inspired by the woman she is becoming before my very eyes.
I am very grateful to have some of the best friends a woman could hope for. I would not be the happy and strong person I am today without them and that includes some who are no longer a part of my life. Even the friendships that end make us who we are.
This is the first Valentines Day I will spend in person and in the same place with my partner and love. I am very, very happy indeed. He is a modest sort, a little shy about public displays of affection. So I am of course flooding his FB page with such displays and have written him a poem. If he says it's ok, I might post that poem here. If not, it will just be between the two of us. We have come a long way together since we met a year and a half ago. May this be the first of many February 14ths spent in one another's company.
So I wish all of you the happiness of the day! Valentine's Day is not just for lovers, but for loving!
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Feb. 7, 2O12
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
Sermon done and edited by two good editors not myself. I will finish the editing today, then choose readings and music for the service and get it all in the can. Well, actually in the vase. In Second Life, there is a flower vase in The UU worship center where the text of services are stored so that congregants can click and receive the service in written form to follow along, if they like. It is a relief to have the sermon completed. It will be posted here and on FUUCSL.org after it is delivered Thursday night. The topic is prayer.
Saturday, my partner and I visited the Suncoast Primate Sanctuary which it turns out is really in Palm Harbor, just south of Tarpon Springs. We had a really good time there and I learned a great deal. I also formulated what will be a chapter in the novel. I plan to write that chapter today even though it will be a later one in the book.
Now we are back home for a few weeks. Yay! I am hoping to make good use of this time when routine will be somewhat more possible than it is when traveling. I would like to complete a significant portion of the novel and do some work on bindings and more of this business stuff that comes with operating one's own small press.
Speaking of which, a perfect binder arrived in our mail a week or so ago. I need to spend some time learning how to use it. Many of the big booksellers will not accept chapbook format, even for small books of poetry, so I will be offering trade paperback as well.
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Feb. 3, 2O12
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
Prepping for another weekend away from home. We will be leaving mid-afternoon-ish for the Gulf coast. This is the last such trip for a few weeks as my partner's last blacksmithing class will be held tomorrow morning. No, so far as I know, he has no plans to shoe horses and has pointedly informed me that horses are shod by farriers not general blacksmiths. Well, ok then.
I am taking the opportunity this weekend to visit a new coffee house (new to me anyway) to get some work done in a quietly social environment, chat with a pal or two and visit The Suncoast Primate Sanctuary in Tarpon Springs, a site that will be featured in the Ballads of Donny Granger, Book One.
In the last two days I have written more than 5OOO words of the novel and done a bit of locations scouting, as well as some plot outlining. I feel sure of where I am headed with Donny and Margaret, his best bud. I am not absolutely clear on the specifics of their journey together but it is coming more clearly into focus as I write. As is so often the case, the story is telling itself and I am just the instrument of its physical manifestation. What makes this project more comfortable than many others is that I know where it will end and what story I want to tell. Yesterday, I heard from my illustrator, Elizabeth Beronich Sheets, that she has begun applying color to the cover illustration.
The project I really need to address is the sermon I will be delivering next Thursday. As usual, I am extremely resistant to starting the process of sermon writing. It's not that I don't want to write or deliver the thing. It's not even that I am not sure what I want to say. I just chafe at what feels like assigned writing, albeit self-assigned. I think it is also that I know my feelings about my topic will evolve in the writing process and it is not always a pleasant evolution. This is just as true in writing fiction, but, I think because calling something a sermon or lecture saddles it with an aura of prophecy and truth-telling that is less pervasive of fiction and poetry, sermonizing is different.
Nonetheless, I need to get that process started and for me that process always requires several days of procrastination in which I listen to music and paint and draw whilst mulling over the work I need to do. I began that process a couple days ago so probably this weekend, maybe even today, words will start hitting the page.
In another vane, I just want to say here how very happy I am these days; with my work, with my professional, social and love lives, with my daughter, with my friendship with her father, and with my home life. For the first time ever, I feel accepted completely as I come, with no special wrappings and no need to hide anything ugly. I can be the unbridled introvert I have always been but now without any demands that require my being anything else. How nice it is to get up in the morning and know that at no point will I have to make nice with strangers or deal with environments that are disruptive to my comfort and peace. I finally have that room of my own we writers hear so much about. I find that for me it is more a place in time and mind than a physical location. Whatever it is, I am very glad to be where I am right now.
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Feb. 1, 2012
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
I am riled up this morning. I responded yesterday to a political post made on another site and woke up this morning to a response that pretty much belittled me and disregarded my point of view. I am a political liberal, if labels are necessary and, in this context they seem to be. I am registered these days as an independent largely because I think both parties are full of crap and I want to distance my self from the construct of party politics as much as I can. If I had to say what I am politically, I would say I am a left leaning libertarian. The comment I encountered this morning was one of those comments designed to establish that one's opponent in debate (me, in this particular case) is not very damned bright. That sort of diminution really pisses me off. Sometimes people disagree, it does not make them idiots.
So I am starting my day with my knickers in a twist and will spend the next hour or so correcting that situation and staying away from social media.
In much better news: Last night, Liz Sheets posted a bit of the cover drawing for The Ballads of Donny Granger, Book One on Facebook. It looks fabulous, exactly what I was hoping for. I cannot wait to see it in its completed state!
And yesterday, I completed the script for the video required for launching the Kickstarter campaign for the novel. I am pleased with the script and will be ready to make the video later this week. I also managed to edit two poems into what I think will be their final forms. So all in all yesterday was a good and productive day in writersland.
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January 30, 2012
Dateline Viera, FL
Late start today working on the script for a video I need to make for the Kickstarter campaign which I would like to launch in mid-February. I have three new poems in the last week, one of which is posted on this blog, Riff on Cummings. Now I need to hunker down on this script and get a start on a sermon I will be giving on Feb. 9.
Saturday morning I took a life drawing course taught by David Smalley of the Dunedin Fine Arts Center on Florida's gulf coast. It was a great class. I learned a lot about drawing but more importantly it helped me get re-energized creatively and that applies to my writing as well. Sometimes a writer needs to branch out, to stretch herself into a new and uncomfortable place. It keeps the senses alert and the synapses connecting. I plan to take another drawing class in March and am really very excited about it. Yay.
January 26, 2O12
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
Back on Merritt Island til tomorrow midday. It's a little hard staying on task when in motion but I am working on a poem I want to have for a reading tomorrow night in New Port Richey. Also have outlined much of the novel because ideas have been coming forth unbidden and I donlt want to lose them because I did not write them down immediately.
The erotic story, Train Ride, has had an enormous number of hits since publication on Tuesday. I am thinking I have been barking up the wrong tree so far as making a living as a writer is concerned. I mean, wow. Just goes to show ya, porn sells, poetry not so much.
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January 24, 2012
Dateline Tarpon Springs, FL
My erotic story, Train Ride, is live at {short} Fiction http://www.short-fiction.co.uk/newstories/show_story.php?story_id=16104. Please note that I said its erotic. If you don't approve of erotica, don't go there.
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January 22, 2012
Dateline Tarpon Springs, FL
I am sitting in the Undergrounds Coffee House on Tarpon Ave, enjoy a mighty powerful mocha, which is exactly what the doctor ordered. I am contemplating a new Miss Intensity poem, started yesterday, Miss Intensity Takes a Lover. I am really very pleased with the poem thus far but hit a wall when it came to ending it. I realized that is because I am the Miss Intensity represented in this poem and, since I don't know how my story ends, I am not sure how to end hers. I will need to spend some time on the last stanza before I can call this baby complete.
I learned that another of my erotic short stories, Train Ride, will soon appear in print. I will post a link when that happens. It is not for the faint of heart. If you think you (or your mother) might not approve, don't read it.
Work on the novel is going well. Tomorrow, I will take a short break from the novel itself to work on the script for the video I need to make for the Kickstarter campaign I plan to launch on Feb. 1 or close to it.
Have I mentioned lately how much I love Florida? I feel sorta sorry for my family and friends still enduring the cold and wet and grey of more northern climes. On the other hand, no one says they have to stay put. There is tons of room up around Talahassee.
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January 19. 2O12
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
Just hired the brilliant, Elizabeth Beronich Sheets, to do the cover of the novel, THE BALLAD OF DONNY GRANGER, PART ONE. Liz did illustrations for my first chapbook, "Ermengard the Expansive" about 2O years ago.
Also had the opportunity today to really flesh out the plot line for the novel. I feel very sure of where I am headed now with Donny.
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January 18, 2012
Dateline Merritt Island, FL
Back home for a few days. The time in Tarpon Springs was productive. I produced roughly 5000 words for the novel, which came after completely revamping it. It has a new narrator, two new settings, and lots of new plot twists. In the interests of clarity, one of the major plot lines is discarded for the time being and I am now focusing on my protagonist's life before the gorilla rides shotgun. I am turning Donny Granger into a superhero for the 21st century, picture a budding Rambo in taffeta.
I also started and discarded several versions of a new poem. That is progress of its own sort.
In really big news, I learned that my proposal for a kickstarter campaign for The Ballad of Donny Granger, Part One (How a West Virginia Boy Becomes a Super Hero In Taffeta) has been approved. I need to create (or have created) a cover for the novel and make a video introducing the project. At that point, I will be ready to launch the campaign, which will make it easier for me to complete the novel without so many financial worries impeding my progress.
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January 14, 2012
Dateline Tarpon Springs, FL.
Staying at The Tarpon Shores Inn for a few days so that my partner can learn basic black smithing. No, not the horse-shoe kind. Yet. I think. I have decided to take advantage of these few days away from home and the calls of chores and backyard birds to focus on some writing. I have had a harder than usual time getting back in some sort of creative routine since the holidays and my daughter's visit. I think some time in a nice enough room with internet and only one window that overlooks nothing terribly special is just what the muse ordered.
This past week, I have begun looking at the novel and made some decisions about it. The first is that it is really TWO novels, so I need to cut it down to size. Also I need to shift the narration from one character to another and it needs more dialogue at the beginning. AND I have decided to reset the whole thing. Essentially, this means a complete revision of the 21 chapters already written. So today I will begin that process. I may also take a stab at a poem that has been percolating for some time.
Thanks to those who participated in this week's Haiku ThrowDown! That was fun. I may make that a weekly event on this blog. Haiku works for me as a way to jumpstart my brain when my brain seems to have pulled the proverbial quilts up over its head for creative nap time.
Please take a moment to check out my story, A Diva Scorned, in the current issue of Ubernothing Art Review and Literary Magazine. It's the very last item in the issue. http://ubernothing.com/index.html
I also wanted to tell y'all that I have decided to start a literary magazine, which will be called Southern Seranade. The call for submissions of art, poetry, fiction and creative nonfiction will go out this spring and the first issue will print for a September 1 release date.
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January 4, 2O12
Vacation is done and its back to work and back to this blog. My daughter headed home to Ohio yesterday and is back to school today. I will be working on the novel and a poem today and will spend at least part of tonight filling some orders for Soul Hill Lullabies.
It has only been two weeks but I feel like I am gonna have to teach myself all over again how to work and get the work done. Do all writers face this hazard when they take vacations? I mean, we need vacation time, or at least this writer does. But getting back to work is really hard. Not unwelcome, but more challenging than it seems it should be. Do other writers have an easier time with this? If so, please tell me and I will happily take pointers on how its done.
My professional goals for this year include completing The Gorilla Rode Shotgun or the Ballad of Donny Granger by early March. I would like to be ready to edit in March and April and submit in May. I will also complete the Lamentations of the Sabine Women poem cycle and publish one that is already complete, A Woman's Life and Love, a poem cycle based on Chamisso's Frauenliebe Und Leben. Everything completed beyond those three projects will be gravy.
So now I will fix some tea and get to work. Happy New Year to all of you!
Congratulations to your daughter.
ReplyDelete"I can only go so long before not writing starts to feel like some sort of illness. A malaise comes over me and I begin to lose interest in most things" <--- love that you wrote that.
I have some hope that I am not alone in this. Would hate to think it is an odd affliction even among other writers.
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