Ubernothing -- Issue 4
Two of my poems are live in the current issue of Ubernothing Art Review and Literary Magazine.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Video Poem: Samhain in Alma 2010
This poem is from my Alma Hill poem cycle, which has no title yet and has at least two more poems to be written. This cycle will be published in book form this fall. I should explain, I guess, that Alma Hill is a little hill and Alma is a little town located in the foothills of the Alleghenies in upstate New York. My people are from the region. The poems in the Alma cycle are all about the region and the people of the town and the hill, but the characters in these story poems are composites, representing several real people and, in some cases no real person I actually knew. To my knowledge, the people of Alma do not gather for Samhain each October, but it seems to me the right setting for such a gathering.
I do not answer the ratatatat of
Children clustered on the door stoop
masked and starved
gluttonous gamins out for feast and fright
the chance to terrify an old woman,
rarely seen, turned into legendary abomination
my neighbors’ imaginations lusty and industrious
Beggars knock til an hour past sunset
then the sound of sneaking feet and feel of prying eyes
are replaced by an Autumn wind that sweeps down the Hill, calling me home
Alma is insistent: you must come.
At my closet, I consider shocking my clan
arriving swathed in purple lace and carrying a skull in one hand
For my peers, I just might deck out in a rainbow of silk and let my hair loose,
put a diamond in my belly button and dance a bolero.
My folk expect their Gran
In grey cotton and wool,
on old lady shoes,
I start the trek
up
and winding
not by the road, where others answering Alma
would honk, offering rides to the matriarch.
Ninety-eight and the last one standing of the century old aughts,
I use my feet to keep my spine and prove my fire
The shawl warms.
A canvas bag carries treasures,
gifts for the gathered,
an offering to the turning wheel.
Bonfire at the crest
great grand-daughter’s cat looks me in the eye
I am cheeky to look him straight back
Others park below the ridge
Carrying bowls and bottles,
fiddles and harps,
they are slow to ascend,
preceded by their dogs
all cantering toward the smell of roasting pig.
The gathering is quickened by mulberry wine
pace driven by the tapping of feet
young Walt Gimlin’s banjo leading a merry twirl
Eyes lit by moon and magic,
girls test their skill as wantons
each one slipping slyly away into the forest
boys only too pleased to play night guide
under a starry blanket
as the earth starts its recess.
Against a wooden crate,
on a quilt so old as to make suitable ground cover
(could even be one pieced myself at the firemen’s grange
in a decade before wars were fought for oil),
the cat curls up against my old woman’s hip,
thick stockinged legs tucked under my skirt.
Bag opened when the moon is high,
The pipe, polished since last gathering,
adds musk
The people of Alma spin through its haze,
laughter covering the sound of falling leaves.
No one notices the earth making its final turn to winter.
It happens silently,
the crisping of air
the shortening of days.
Seemingly sudden,
a sybaritic repose, months in the earning.
Great Grand-daughter’s cat descends the mountain
paws padding over fallen acorns, tail high,
keeps haughty distance between us.
At my kitchen door,
he feigns disinterest until the bowl appears,
dips his whiskers in milk.
In the porch rocker, I do not sleep
but linger more permanently
drawn past Samhein into wintertide
barefoot in silks, I satisfy my god.
Great grand-daughter’s cat purrs til my body cools
Samhain in Alma, 2010
by Stephanie Mesler
by Stephanie Mesler
I do not answer the ratatatat of
Children clustered on the door stoop
masked and starved
gluttonous gamins out for feast and fright
the chance to terrify an old woman,
rarely seen, turned into legendary abomination
my neighbors’ imaginations lusty and industrious
Beggars knock til an hour past sunset
then the sound of sneaking feet and feel of prying eyes
are replaced by an Autumn wind that sweeps down the Hill, calling me home
Alma is insistent: you must come.
At my closet, I consider shocking my clan
arriving swathed in purple lace and carrying a skull in one hand
For my peers, I just might deck out in a rainbow of silk and let my hair loose,
put a diamond in my belly button and dance a bolero.
My folk expect their Gran
In grey cotton and wool,
on old lady shoes,
I start the trek
up
and winding
not by the road, where others answering Alma
would honk, offering rides to the matriarch.
Ninety-eight and the last one standing of the century old aughts,
I use my feet to keep my spine and prove my fire
The shawl warms.
A canvas bag carries treasures,
gifts for the gathered,
an offering to the turning wheel.
Bonfire at the crest
great grand-daughter’s cat looks me in the eye
I am cheeky to look him straight back
Others park below the ridge
Carrying bowls and bottles,
fiddles and harps,
they are slow to ascend,
preceded by their dogs
all cantering toward the smell of roasting pig.
The gathering is quickened by mulberry wine
pace driven by the tapping of feet
young Walt Gimlin’s banjo leading a merry twirl
Eyes lit by moon and magic,
girls test their skill as wantons
each one slipping slyly away into the forest
boys only too pleased to play night guide
under a starry blanket
as the earth starts its recess.
Against a wooden crate,
on a quilt so old as to make suitable ground cover
(could even be one pieced myself at the firemen’s grange
in a decade before wars were fought for oil),
the cat curls up against my old woman’s hip,
thick stockinged legs tucked under my skirt.
Bag opened when the moon is high,
The pipe, polished since last gathering,
adds musk
The people of Alma spin through its haze,
laughter covering the sound of falling leaves.
No one notices the earth making its final turn to winter.
It happens silently,
the crisping of air
the shortening of days.
Seemingly sudden,
a sybaritic repose, months in the earning.
Great Grand-daughter’s cat descends the mountain
paws padding over fallen acorns, tail high,
keeps haughty distance between us.
At my kitchen door,
he feigns disinterest until the bowl appears,
dips his whiskers in milk.
In the porch rocker, I do not sleep
but linger more permanently
drawn past Samhein into wintertide
barefoot in silks, I satisfy my god.
Great grand-daughter’s cat purrs til my body cools
Friday, October 14, 2011
UUtopia Service 10/13/2011, Including Meditation on Self-Acceptance
UUtopia Service 10/13/2011, Including Meditation on Self-Acceptance
**Pre-Service Music**
F--kin Perfect, composed and performed by Pink.
(A bell is rung, calling this far-flung community together.)
** Announcements **
An order of service is available in notecard form by saying “oos” in local chat.
You can get a notecard to clutter your inventory and peruse later, if you are a peruser, or you can just follow along in local.
Hi y’all. I am Freda Frostbite in Second Life, Stephanie Mesler in the solid world. I will be your guide and preacher this evening.
Tonight’s service will be streamed in audio, spoken in voice, and scrolled out in text.
You will need to have audio and voice enabled in your SL browser and on your computer in order to hear what is going on.
If you are unable to hear audio in SL, the spoken portions of the service will continue to appear before you in local, as they are now.
Welcome to the First Unitarian Universalist Church of Second Life, FUUCSL as some of us affectionately call it.
To visitors, a special welcome. We are thrilled to have you with us tonight.
Please feel free to IM any of the congregants in attendance here, if you are in need of assistance in following the service
or if you would like more information about UUtopia, Unitarian Universalism, or Second Life.
However, please don’t IM me til the service is over unless there is an emergency I can address whilst speaking, scrolling and keeping up with comments in local.
If you are not familiar with Unitarian Universalism ("UU"), a single service is not enough
to experience the diversity of ideas and styles of interaction that we offer,
either here in SL or in RL. Please come again.
You might also wish to look at UUA.org. or consider joining the group
Unitarian Universalists of SL to receive regular announcements.
Also please check out fuucsl.org, our web site.
We are always looking for members of our community who wish to get more involved.
If you would like to try your hand at leading a service, please contact
a member of the Leadership Group –
their names are available in the notecard dispenser
in the welcome area.
Please join us after the service for coffee, conversation, and dancing – a venerable UU tradition!
Are there any other announcements?
** Lighting the Chalice and Opening words**
Come to us all who are broken...
Come to us all who are laden...
Find strength here in safe and supportive community...
Know that this place can be your home...
Come to us in joy and in anguish...
Come to us in peace and in turmoil...
Let this light warm your heart and guide your mind...
Know that this place can be your home...
(the chalice is lighted and we join in saying the following)
Come to us all who are broken...
Come to us all who are laden...
Find strength here in safe and supportive community...
Know that this place can be your home...
Come to us in joy and in anguish...
Come to us in peace and in turmoil...
Let this light warm your heart and guide your mind...
Know that this place can be your home...
** Joys and Concerns **
Now let us prepare our hearts to receive the joys and concerns,
hopes and sorrows, fears and dreams of those present here tonight.
If there is something that has recently happened to you, happy or sad,
and you would like to share it with us, now is the time.
We invite you to share your joys and concerns in local chat, when you are ready.
** Offering **
A freewill offering is a sacrament of a free Church.
This fellowship is supported by the voluntary generosity of all who join with us.
There is an offering plate in the pool in front of us.
Please be generous in support of this UU fellowship.
** The Word**
“The inherent worth and dignity of every person.” -- first of the seven principles of UUism
“It is not the eyes of others I am wary of, but my own.” -- Noel Coward
“We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do.” -- Ethel Barrett
**Introduction and Meditation**
I will not be preaching a sermon tonight. The issue foremost in my mind when I sat down to write for y’all this month was self-acceptance.
I struggled for a few days with writing a sermon before realizing I really had not much new to offer on the topic, not in homiletic form anyway.
So I decided to approach the topic with a guided meditation. Writing this meditation served some purpose for me.
I hope taking part in it will be good for you too.
Enjoy the music and allow yourself to relax as we prepare to begin the guided meditation.
Be sure you are in a comfortable place and position in your solid world. We will begin the guided meditation in a few moments.
At this time, you might want to bring a paper and pen or pencil near your computer. It could come in handy later in the meditation.
I will give you a few moments to gather those.
OK, let’s begin. Let's start by focusing on our breathing.
Take a deep breath, inhaling slowly to a count of four -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath for a few -- and, then, exhale 2 - 3 - 4
Feel your breath as it enters with a cool feeling. It warms as it gently travels down into your lungs.
Fill your lungs with a deep inhalation of air.
Your abdomen should expand when you take a deep breath in.
As you exhale, your abdomen should cave in slighly.
Hopefully, you feel your body releasing tensions, stress and any negativity that has accumulated during your day.
Now inhale again, slowly -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
As you continue breathing deeply and slowly, let your mind and body relax.
There is no right or wrong way to meditate.
Try to turn off that inner critic that makes a habit of bringing you down.
Just allow yourself now to BE and to BREATHE.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
Please continue breathing as I introduce tonight’s guided meditation.
Tonight’s guided meditation is focused on you.
For many of us, self-focus is an unhealthy habit.
Others of us need to focus more on ourselves than we have been comfortable doing.
Most, if not all, of us do not like what we see when we really allow ourselves to be the center of
our own attentions.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
Many of us reject ourselves daily. We dislike our physical appearance.
We question our own choices and judgements.
We wonder if we are smart enough, talented enough, young enough, strong enough...
Our list of self doubts can be seemingly endless.
We wonder why anyone would like us and often find it hard to like ourselves.
We are own worst critics.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
I am not going to suggest that you should not assess yourself from time to time.
In actuality, I think that can be a very healthy occasional pastime.
I am, however, going to suggest that when you do such a self-evaluation,
you might try to be as least as objective as you would be when evaluating the character and traits of others.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
Please join me now on a journey downward and inward.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
It is a clear night. The sky above is devoid of clouds. The stars twinkle brightly and a crescent moon is in the southern sky.
A light breeze blows across this hilltop. You pull a sweater around you for warmth.
You look down the hill across abandoned pasture, dotted with tree-stumps and isolated oaks.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
This is an important night for you. A night that might determine how you carry on in your life.
At the night’s end, you will make choices.
But first you have a journey to complete. You have already come a long way.
Your strong legs have carried you from your home and up this hill. Your arms have carried your pack.
As you climbed the north slope, your mind began to clear, your heart beat became strong and steady, matching the rhythm of your steps.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
Now you stand at the hill crest. You can see far in all directions.
To the west, there are new horizons, places you have not yet explored, opportunities you have not yet taken. You see a forest in that direction and high, stoney mountains.
In the east, there is a broad ocean that stretches as far as you can see. There are boats along that seashore. You might one day sail away.
To the north is your home, the place you have come from. The people who love you and the people you love are there.
So are the people who wish you ill and those who think nothing of you at all.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
For the time being, only the southerly path is open to you. You have an appointment you must keep.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
You head downhill facing south.
The hill slopes gently and a trail is clear, having been beaten down by the feet of those who have been here before you and taken this same walk.
You can see the lake clearly. It is nestled between two hills at the bottom of this slope.
From this distance, the lake reflects back the lights of the night sky.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
The breeze seems less chill as you come deeper into the valley between hilltops,
but you can still hear it gently blowing, bending the grass that surrounds you.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
There are no animal sounds here. But, as you come closer to the lake and the end of tonight’s walk, you can hear the water gently rippling.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
At the bottom of the hill, you find the grass taller and it brushes against your shins.
There are cats tails and pussy willows along the lake’s edge.
You walk to the west now, making a half-circuit of the lake.
On the other side, you find the pier that extends out into the water many yards.
You walk carefully to the pier’s end. There are no hand rails here and the wood below is old.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
At the end of the pier, you open your pack and take out a flat cushion. This you place on the planks so that you can sit, facing north, with your feet dangling over the water.
You sit for a few moments, not quite ready to face the task that brought you here.
Feel the cool night air, hear the water rippling. Close your eyes and allow yourself these few moments of peace.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
Now, under the clear sky lit by the stars and moon, you can begin the work you came here to do.
As you do this part of the guided meditation, you may find it helpful to use the paper and pencil.
In your pack, there are three paper bags.
One, you have labeled WHAT DO THEY SEE? One says WHAT DO I SEE? The last just says ME.
Take out the bag labeled WHAT DO THEY SEE?
I want you now to open that bag. In it are the names of the people (or groups of people) in your life, the ones that really matter and the ones that do not.
I want you to pull out each name and ask yourself how the person or people listed there see you.
You may find it helpful to actually write down the names of these people.
Be honest with yourself. If someone thinks you are lazy, admit that to yourself. If someone says you are very beautiful, accept that too.
For the purposes of this exercise, I ask you to believe that people mean what they say to you about yourself.
This is not the same as believing what they say to be true.
Take a few moments to consider people’s opinions of you. Don’t accept or deny the truth of their opinions. just acknowledge them.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
Now I want you to take that bag of names and opinions and toss it into the water. Don’t worry the paper is biodegradable and the notes were written in nontoxic ink.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
Open now the bag that says WHAT DO I SEE?
You may want to write down the items you would put in this bag.
In it, put notes of your own impressions of yourself.
Comment on your character, your intelligence, your appearance, your talents.
Write down your own vision of yourself
In some ways, your vision is similar to that of others. In some ways, it differs.
Take a few moments to consider your opinions of yourself. Don’t accept or deny the truth of these opinions. Just acknowledge them.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
Now I want you to take that bag of names and opinions and toss it into the water too. Fish and duck food, that’s all it amounts to.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
Now you are left with only one paper bag in your sack. This is the one that says ME.
Take that bag out now and look inside.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
It is empty and contains nothing at all. What it should contain is the truth of who you are.
Take a few moments now to consider yourself. Look at your reflection in the lake’s surface.
Listen to the soundtracks of your heart and mind.
Who are you?
Are you smart? Funny? Sexy? Kind? Strong?
Are you old in your bones? Young in your spirit?
Have you done good things in the world with the time you have had in it so far?
Are you ashamed of yourself? Are you arrogant or mean?
Tell yourself the truth now, the good and the bad. Spare yourself neither objective praise nor objective criticism.
Take a few moments now to consider yourself.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
Now you may have a clearer idea of who you are. Can you accept the person you are? Can you love yourself?
If the answer to either of these questions is no, then you have some changes to make, probably some amends to make as well.
That being the case, you may now choose to sit on this dock and wait for circumstances to change.
Wait for the stars to align in a way that allows you to just be happy being you.
Sometimes, time alone is really all one needs to get right with one’s soul.
Or you can pick up your pack and head back north to face yourself, your life and the people in it.
In that journey, you can choose to learn how to be a person you can lovingly accept.
This is an honorable choice, one that deserves no recrimination. It is a choice to become the person you want to be.
If the answers to the questions were yes, you do love and accept yourself, then you are ready to make choices for a happy future.
You may stand on the end of this pier and, knowing you are strong and well in your core, make choices that will continue to feed you and the people in your worlds.
Gather your belongings and make your choice. Where will you go from here?
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
(Pause for as long as feels right and good.)
When you are ready to finish your time of intentional focus, take a deep breath.
Exhale through your mouth, blowing out slowly.
Bring your awareness back to the solid world and to this virtual sanctuary.
Slowly stretch your muscles.... and open your eyes. Enjoy the feeling of calm and peace that remains with you.
**Discussion, if there is to be any**
Please talk about your own ease or difficulty with self acceptance.
**Extinguishing the chalice**
Please join me in saying the following:
We extinguish this light, but do not darken the world.
We extinguish this light so that we may return to the world, carrying with us the light of this loving fellowship wherever we go and in all we do.
Let us bring a light of hope, clarity, and love to the world beyond this virtual one.
**The Benediction**
Go, now, in peace to love and serve the world.
**Music and Dancing!!**
Simply the Best, composed by Holly Knight and Michael Chapman, performed by Tina Turner
**Pre-Service Music**
F--kin Perfect, composed and performed by Pink.
(A bell is rung, calling this far-flung community together.)
** Announcements **
An order of service is available in notecard form by saying “oos” in local chat.
You can get a notecard to clutter your inventory and peruse later, if you are a peruser, or you can just follow along in local.
Hi y’all. I am Freda Frostbite in Second Life, Stephanie Mesler in the solid world. I will be your guide and preacher this evening.
Tonight’s service will be streamed in audio, spoken in voice, and scrolled out in text.
You will need to have audio and voice enabled in your SL browser and on your computer in order to hear what is going on.
If you are unable to hear audio in SL, the spoken portions of the service will continue to appear before you in local, as they are now.
Welcome to the First Unitarian Universalist Church of Second Life, FUUCSL as some of us affectionately call it.
To visitors, a special welcome. We are thrilled to have you with us tonight.
Please feel free to IM any of the congregants in attendance here, if you are in need of assistance in following the service
or if you would like more information about UUtopia, Unitarian Universalism, or Second Life.
However, please don’t IM me til the service is over unless there is an emergency I can address whilst speaking, scrolling and keeping up with comments in local.
If you are not familiar with Unitarian Universalism ("UU"), a single service is not enough
to experience the diversity of ideas and styles of interaction that we offer,
either here in SL or in RL. Please come again.
You might also wish to look at UUA.org. or consider joining the group
Unitarian Universalists of SL to receive regular announcements.
Also please check out fuucsl.org, our web site.
We are always looking for members of our community who wish to get more involved.
If you would like to try your hand at leading a service, please contact
a member of the Leadership Group –
their names are available in the notecard dispenser
in the welcome area.
Please join us after the service for coffee, conversation, and dancing – a venerable UU tradition!
Are there any other announcements?
** Lighting the Chalice and Opening words**
Come to us all who are broken...
Come to us all who are laden...
Find strength here in safe and supportive community...
Know that this place can be your home...
Come to us in joy and in anguish...
Come to us in peace and in turmoil...
Let this light warm your heart and guide your mind...
Know that this place can be your home...
(the chalice is lighted and we join in saying the following)
Come to us all who are broken...
Come to us all who are laden...
Find strength here in safe and supportive community...
Know that this place can be your home...
Come to us in joy and in anguish...
Come to us in peace and in turmoil...
Let this light warm your heart and guide your mind...
Know that this place can be your home...
** Joys and Concerns **
Now let us prepare our hearts to receive the joys and concerns,
hopes and sorrows, fears and dreams of those present here tonight.
If there is something that has recently happened to you, happy or sad,
and you would like to share it with us, now is the time.
We invite you to share your joys and concerns in local chat, when you are ready.
** Offering **
A freewill offering is a sacrament of a free Church.
This fellowship is supported by the voluntary generosity of all who join with us.
There is an offering plate in the pool in front of us.
Please be generous in support of this UU fellowship.
** The Word**
“The inherent worth and dignity of every person.” -- first of the seven principles of UUism
“It is not the eyes of others I am wary of, but my own.” -- Noel Coward
“We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do.” -- Ethel Barrett
**Introduction and Meditation**
I will not be preaching a sermon tonight. The issue foremost in my mind when I sat down to write for y’all this month was self-acceptance.
I struggled for a few days with writing a sermon before realizing I really had not much new to offer on the topic, not in homiletic form anyway.
So I decided to approach the topic with a guided meditation. Writing this meditation served some purpose for me.
I hope taking part in it will be good for you too.
Enjoy the music and allow yourself to relax as we prepare to begin the guided meditation.
Be sure you are in a comfortable place and position in your solid world. We will begin the guided meditation in a few moments.
At this time, you might want to bring a paper and pen or pencil near your computer. It could come in handy later in the meditation.
I will give you a few moments to gather those.
OK, let’s begin. Let's start by focusing on our breathing.
Take a deep breath, inhaling slowly to a count of four -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath for a few -- and, then, exhale 2 - 3 - 4
Feel your breath as it enters with a cool feeling. It warms as it gently travels down into your lungs.
Fill your lungs with a deep inhalation of air.
Your abdomen should expand when you take a deep breath in.
As you exhale, your abdomen should cave in slighly.
Hopefully, you feel your body releasing tensions, stress and any negativity that has accumulated during your day.
Now inhale again, slowly -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
As you continue breathing deeply and slowly, let your mind and body relax.
There is no right or wrong way to meditate.
Try to turn off that inner critic that makes a habit of bringing you down.
Just allow yourself now to BE and to BREATHE.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
Please continue breathing as I introduce tonight’s guided meditation.
Tonight’s guided meditation is focused on you.
For many of us, self-focus is an unhealthy habit.
Others of us need to focus more on ourselves than we have been comfortable doing.
Most, if not all, of us do not like what we see when we really allow ourselves to be the center of
our own attentions.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
Many of us reject ourselves daily. We dislike our physical appearance.
We question our own choices and judgements.
We wonder if we are smart enough, talented enough, young enough, strong enough...
Our list of self doubts can be seemingly endless.
We wonder why anyone would like us and often find it hard to like ourselves.
We are own worst critics.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
I am not going to suggest that you should not assess yourself from time to time.
In actuality, I think that can be a very healthy occasional pastime.
I am, however, going to suggest that when you do such a self-evaluation,
you might try to be as least as objective as you would be when evaluating the character and traits of others.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
Please join me now on a journey downward and inward.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
It is a clear night. The sky above is devoid of clouds. The stars twinkle brightly and a crescent moon is in the southern sky.
A light breeze blows across this hilltop. You pull a sweater around you for warmth.
You look down the hill across abandoned pasture, dotted with tree-stumps and isolated oaks.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
This is an important night for you. A night that might determine how you carry on in your life.
At the night’s end, you will make choices.
But first you have a journey to complete. You have already come a long way.
Your strong legs have carried you from your home and up this hill. Your arms have carried your pack.
As you climbed the north slope, your mind began to clear, your heart beat became strong and steady, matching the rhythm of your steps.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
Now you stand at the hill crest. You can see far in all directions.
To the west, there are new horizons, places you have not yet explored, opportunities you have not yet taken. You see a forest in that direction and high, stoney mountains.
In the east, there is a broad ocean that stretches as far as you can see. There are boats along that seashore. You might one day sail away.
To the north is your home, the place you have come from. The people who love you and the people you love are there.
So are the people who wish you ill and those who think nothing of you at all.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
For the time being, only the southerly path is open to you. You have an appointment you must keep.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
You head downhill facing south.
The hill slopes gently and a trail is clear, having been beaten down by the feet of those who have been here before you and taken this same walk.
You can see the lake clearly. It is nestled between two hills at the bottom of this slope.
From this distance, the lake reflects back the lights of the night sky.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
The breeze seems less chill as you come deeper into the valley between hilltops,
but you can still hear it gently blowing, bending the grass that surrounds you.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
There are no animal sounds here. But, as you come closer to the lake and the end of tonight’s walk, you can hear the water gently rippling.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
At the bottom of the hill, you find the grass taller and it brushes against your shins.
There are cats tails and pussy willows along the lake’s edge.
You walk to the west now, making a half-circuit of the lake.
On the other side, you find the pier that extends out into the water many yards.
You walk carefully to the pier’s end. There are no hand rails here and the wood below is old.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
At the end of the pier, you open your pack and take out a flat cushion. This you place on the planks so that you can sit, facing north, with your feet dangling over the water.
You sit for a few moments, not quite ready to face the task that brought you here.
Feel the cool night air, hear the water rippling. Close your eyes and allow yourself these few moments of peace.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
Now, under the clear sky lit by the stars and moon, you can begin the work you came here to do.
As you do this part of the guided meditation, you may find it helpful to use the paper and pencil.
In your pack, there are three paper bags.
One, you have labeled WHAT DO THEY SEE? One says WHAT DO I SEE? The last just says ME.
Take out the bag labeled WHAT DO THEY SEE?
I want you now to open that bag. In it are the names of the people (or groups of people) in your life, the ones that really matter and the ones that do not.
I want you to pull out each name and ask yourself how the person or people listed there see you.
You may find it helpful to actually write down the names of these people.
Be honest with yourself. If someone thinks you are lazy, admit that to yourself. If someone says you are very beautiful, accept that too.
For the purposes of this exercise, I ask you to believe that people mean what they say to you about yourself.
This is not the same as believing what they say to be true.
Take a few moments to consider people’s opinions of you. Don’t accept or deny the truth of their opinions. just acknowledge them.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
Now I want you to take that bag of names and opinions and toss it into the water. Don’t worry the paper is biodegradable and the notes were written in nontoxic ink.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
Open now the bag that says WHAT DO I SEE?
You may want to write down the items you would put in this bag.
In it, put notes of your own impressions of yourself.
Comment on your character, your intelligence, your appearance, your talents.
Write down your own vision of yourself
In some ways, your vision is similar to that of others. In some ways, it differs.
Take a few moments to consider your opinions of yourself. Don’t accept or deny the truth of these opinions. Just acknowledge them.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
Now I want you to take that bag of names and opinions and toss it into the water too. Fish and duck food, that’s all it amounts to.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
Now you are left with only one paper bag in your sack. This is the one that says ME.
Take that bag out now and look inside.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
It is empty and contains nothing at all. What it should contain is the truth of who you are.
Take a few moments now to consider yourself. Look at your reflection in the lake’s surface.
Listen to the soundtracks of your heart and mind.
Who are you?
Are you smart? Funny? Sexy? Kind? Strong?
Are you old in your bones? Young in your spirit?
Have you done good things in the world with the time you have had in it so far?
Are you ashamed of yourself? Are you arrogant or mean?
Tell yourself the truth now, the good and the bad. Spare yourself neither objective praise nor objective criticism.
Take a few moments now to consider yourself.
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
Now you may have a clearer idea of who you are. Can you accept the person you are? Can you love yourself?
If the answer to either of these questions is no, then you have some changes to make, probably some amends to make as well.
That being the case, you may now choose to sit on this dock and wait for circumstances to change.
Wait for the stars to align in a way that allows you to just be happy being you.
Sometimes, time alone is really all one needs to get right with one’s soul.
Or you can pick up your pack and head back north to face yourself, your life and the people in it.
In that journey, you can choose to learn how to be a person you can lovingly accept.
This is an honorable choice, one that deserves no recrimination. It is a choice to become the person you want to be.
If the answers to the questions were yes, you do love and accept yourself, then you are ready to make choices for a happy future.
You may stand on the end of this pier and, knowing you are strong and well in your core, make choices that will continue to feed you and the people in your worlds.
Gather your belongings and make your choice. Where will you go from here?
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
inhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 -- hold the breath and exhale -- 2 - 3 - 4 --
(Pause for as long as feels right and good.)
When you are ready to finish your time of intentional focus, take a deep breath.
Exhale through your mouth, blowing out slowly.
Bring your awareness back to the solid world and to this virtual sanctuary.
Slowly stretch your muscles.... and open your eyes. Enjoy the feeling of calm and peace that remains with you.
**Discussion, if there is to be any**
Please talk about your own ease or difficulty with self acceptance.
**Extinguishing the chalice**
Please join me in saying the following:
We extinguish this light, but do not darken the world.
We extinguish this light so that we may return to the world, carrying with us the light of this loving fellowship wherever we go and in all we do.
Let us bring a light of hope, clarity, and love to the world beyond this virtual one.
**The Benediction**
Go, now, in peace to love and serve the world.
**Music and Dancing!!**
Simply the Best, composed by Holly Knight and Michael Chapman, performed by Tina Turner
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